Don't stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It's nature's way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror. Forget age. If you can still manage to blow out your birthday candles, everything is dandy. Congratulations, you've finally reached the wonder years Wonder where you left your phone? Wonder where your glasses are? Wonder what day it is? The good thing about having a bad memory is that jokes can be funny more than once. We'll be friends 'til we're old and senile I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party!
I've reached an age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me. You know you're getting old when the little old grey-haired lady you helped across the street is your wife. Don't worry, they are not grey hairs, they are wisdom highlights. You just happen to be extremely wise. Those aren't grey hair you see. They're strands of birthday glitter growing out of your head.
Night sweats and hot flashes are nature's way of lowering your heating bill so you can save more money for your retirement. Nifty, shifty, thrifty The best form of birth control for people over nudity. Fifty is a powerful age for women. You can set off sprinkler systems with your hot flashes. At 50 years old, life seems shorter. No point in spending it trying to make yourself disappear by dieting.
Turning 50? Laughter is the gift that keeps you in the present. You spend more time trimming your nose hair than head hair. You realize with some irritation that your parents were right about nearly everything.
You finally get your head together, and your body has other ideas. Your high school yearbook is moldy enough to support a thriving colony of algae. When you look in a full-length mirror, you can see your butt from the front. You're still hot, but only in flashes. And those hot flashes? Think of them as regular short vacations in the tropics.
At 50 it's more important than ever to eat fruits and vegetables. So: - In the morning, add an extra stalk of celery to your Bloody Mary.
After fifty, one ceases to digest. Well, I'm fifty. For my 50th birthday, my husband and I spent a weekend in Rehoboth Beach. Tip 4: Science has finally made it possible for a year-old to look as young as a teenager — with a simple head transplant!
Tip 5: Buy an iPad, digital camera, and an MP3 player. Tip 7: Never attempt to pick up something you dropped, except under strict medical supervision. A wonderful source of jokes about getting old: the late Joan Rivers. You can find tons of her material on YouTube. Use her material for inspiration, rather than copying her jokes. Or just tell stories about her and the jokes. Knock on wood. These are only a few of the many, many funny 50th birthday jokes you can tell at your party to get a great laugh.
A birthday roast is a presentation honoring the birthday person in a funny way. Basically, you use jokes for 50th birthdays and honor the birthday person with love and affectionate teasing. There are some basics to structuring your roast event. You need to let your guests know that you are planning a roasting and to start thinking of roasting jokes for this 50th birthday event. You want to center your invitations around the event and prepare your guests. Roastee: This is the guest of honor.
The target of the roast. Roastmaster: This is the host of the event. To structure this event, make sure you dedicate a Roastmaster.
This person will host the event, it is handy if they are of a comedic nature and easily speak well in front of crowds. Inside your invitations, you can request that your guests prepare a short roast of their own. This will provide plenty of content for the night — and likely a TON of laughs!
Very important! The guest of honor must have a good sense of humor — and that is a definite MUST! If not, you could end up with an insulted, offended loved one and that would not be good at all. The more people you have the more roasting that occurs. It is great to make sure everyone knows the roastee well enough to join in the fun.
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