Just because a man proposes does not mean he is ready for marriage. This means that some men will take the easiest way to reach our aims and solve problems, especially in relationships.
We engage in this behavior to help save time, and, most importantly, to reserve emotional energy. Unfortunately, a large percentage of men I see in therapy and in my consultation business tell me that they got married because it was the easiest thing to do at the time.
This is not to say that they were not in love, but they took the path of least resistance. Understanding what that means can be difficult because every man operates differently. For example, if marrying you will shut you up and take the pressure off, then some men will do just that—path of least resistance. If men can get sex without commitment, then some men will do just that—path of least resistance. You do not want a man to marry or commit to you because you want it more than he does.
Also, some women make the mistake of thinking that moving in together is a form of commitment. You just can't force it. It will take time and patience. It will also be hard, but it will also most definitely be worth it. It's not necessarily true that this person -- the apple of your eye -- isn't willing to fall in love again. More likely, heartbreak has made this person more cautious about love. If the two of you are compatible and open to falling in love, eventually you'll be vulnerable with each other.
And when you do that, you can truly fall in love. Be there for this person when he or she needs you, but don't be pushy. Like I said above, it's possible that, in time, the object of your desire will love you back. But this won't happen if you're too eager. In the end, love is a choice. But, most importantly, make sure they know that you love them and that they are still a priority in your life. Assure them that this new person is not going to steal you away and that they are not going to replace their other parent.
With time, your child may decide that they like this new person and be more welcoming. Until then, go slow and be patient. Get expert tips to help your kids stay healthy and happy. Clark B. Supporting the mental health of children and youth of separating parents. Paediatr Child Health. Negash S, Morgan M. Family affair: examining the impact of parental infidelity on children using a structural family therapy framework.
Contemp Fam Ther. Weaver J, Schofield T. J Fam Psychol. National Domestic Violence Hotline. Know the red flags of abuse. Your Privacy Rights. To change or withdraw your consent choices for VerywellFamily. At any time, you can update your settings through the "EU Privacy" link at the bottom of any page.
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Table of Contents View All. Table of Contents. Kids Hate Your Partner. Where to Start. Determine the Issue. Talk it Over. Include Your Child. Enlist Your Ex. Address Concerns.
Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! Sign Up. What are your concerns? Verywell Family uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy. Related Articles. How to Combat College Loneliness. How to Be a Better Mother-in-Law. Parent or Friend? He said he likes me and I like him and well we are eventually in a relationship.
Sometimes when we are talking via text he just zones out. He said he wants us to be together but he is still adjusting. Should I be patient with him or could he be playing mind games?
The situation you have then is of a guy who is sometimes attentive to you and sometimes he is not attentive to you. And you know what he tells you and what answers he gives you when you ask him questions. Talk to him some more, when you get a chance, in person, if possible. Ask him what he means by adjusting, ask him maybe about why he was not in a relationship for a long time and maybe about his past relationships.
Not as an interrogator, but just so to get to know him. Ask him to explain how a relationship should be and what he expects out of you and what you should expect out of him.
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